You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
