Too much gin, very little bucket
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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