toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
