Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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