Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
