There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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