12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
