when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
