i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
