hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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