In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
