Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
