I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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