so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
