do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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