Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
