I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
