Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
