doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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