k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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