I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
