Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
