and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
