I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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