So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
