god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
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She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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