Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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