y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
