She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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