You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
