nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize