Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He did a backflip because drugs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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