M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize