yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
