I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
