Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Pooping to opera.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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