last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
