i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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