I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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