I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
