I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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