dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
