Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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