Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
