Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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