Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
