He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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