at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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