Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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