But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
