I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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