i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
