farters have to be the big spoon...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
