Nicole vs. Life
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
