He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
NoShamevember. You game?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
