Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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